It is the first time I felt as though I didn't want to meet up with anyone today. Especially him. I didn't know how looking at his past pictures with girls and especially those with his past partner could sting this supposedly hardy heart. It is supposed to be omnipotent, invincible and impregnable. Cause I said so. However, I couldn't help getting mad and I don't know why. Mad because I lost out during those years? Mad because his heart belonged to someone else other than me? During the time of trying to rationalize these thoughts, I thought to myself, I must be mad (ie. crazy) to even let these thoughts invade my mind.

 Once my eyes met his, it all just ... dissolved. Strange, I thought. How easily I could find him at that crowded subway station.

His birthday is tomorrow and I am really worried. I made something but I don't know whether he'll like it. Every stitch and measurement was done and sometimes re-done until I think it is perfect. Even then, some part of me doubts that it is. I shall persevere even if it means burning the midnight oil. Friday. :)