Having just read a letter from an old friend from Germany (even though it was a tagged letter on Facebook) on how happy she is with marriage life, I was hit by a bout of nostalgia especially remembering those talks we had about career, relationships and life in general. Connie was her name and secretly, I wished that I had a sister just like her as she was/is the most dedicated and smartest lady I've known with a heart of gold. Never did she fail to send us Christmas gifts nor little notes to remind us that she thinks of us despite her busy schedule. Silly as it may seem, like how a little sister emulates her elder sister's actions and behaviour, I aspire to be like her too. :)

Good things are happening to me now. I must be thankful to God for allowing me to be happy again. In fact, I am filled with gratitude for having the support of close ones pulling me back on my feet when I trip over them (sad to say that it happens frequently). Upon much reflection, I had always been negative about my ability in most things. School, running, my capability to make others happy and as ironic as it may sound, my self-confidence. Mum often tells me to be modest and not get fame or recognition get to my head. I mistook it for always being negative about my talent or intelligence. Whichever bothers me first. That negativity transcended my love life and resulted in a heart that was always guarded. Guarded with a heavy metal door bolted shut and further protected with barbed wire to sting those who tried to get near.

You may think. Cheesy. Corny. OTT (abbreviation for Over-The-Top as invented by a friend). Well, I do think that way as well. Nevertheless, I feel liberated as I slowly and hesitantly unlock the bolts one by one.