さよなら２０１０年；お正月おめでとう！

New Year's Eve.

I can safely say that 2010 was not the year for me in terms of sports and matters of the heart. I took a 6 month hiatus from sports due to my half a year internship and honestly, getting it all back was terribly hard. However, I did the best that I could during that short span of time and I am glad I did not give up even though it was terribly painful. Especially when you were nursing a broken heart and struggling to catch up in the academia arena. Barren as the meadow may have become at that moment, with much needed water, sunlight and love from friends and family, my favourite flowers bloomed once again. White daisies, pink tulips, red roses with a spattering of daffodils swaying softly as the wind blows gently made me feel motivated to pick myself up again.

Indian summer. Meeting someone who is of the same frequency at an unexpected place and knowing each other personally for only 3 solid days sounds absurd. But without a doubt, exhilarating. I still reminisce of the fun we had together but again, it is time to move on. Futility in waiting as it only makes me miserable.

Unlike an undercover agent who is on a mission, I am on a mission to re-connect with old friends whom I have neglected and make new friends to surround myself with all the emotions available in the world. Being alone for quite some time, I forgot how it felt like to have many around me instead of only one. The multitude of emotions envelops me every day. Surprisingly, it comforts me as its presence means I am not alone. Now I know why geriatrics fear being alone, being sick alone, dying alone. I strive to be like my grandmother, who surrounds herself with her friends, acquaintances and family daily after my grandfather passed on, and keeps herself occupied with ikebana, dancing, theatre acting classes and whatever activities available at the community club she frequents. She's awesome.

Thank you 2010. I have learnt much from you. Now, cheers to 2011, success in my career search and to long-lasting friendships/companionship I'll treasure always.

Christmas 2010

Today is Boxing day.

Wow. What a Christmas it has been for me. Ever since I've decided to not wallow in self-pity and wait endlessly for that phone call which never came, I feel liberated. The company of close ones do have a healing power no magical spell can surpass.

It has been ages since I last played with sparklers and I did on Christmas Eve! I was so eager to play with it that I threw away any ounce of embarrassment I possessed and took off my pair of mustard coloured suede heels and walked barefoot. Why, one can't expect me to wear heels on the rocks by the river right. Besides, it felt refreshing to walk on the rough cemented pavement. Total foot massage. Unfortunately, we did not manage to create the mini-bomb that we were planning to make as the lighter ran out of gas. Haha. Such an extremely anti-climax moment there. Little Fockers was disappointing but I guess the fact that I was already tired by then may have clouded my judgment. Christmas is not special without presents so I managed to make one happy by giving one to a new friend right after midnight! Yay! Happy. :)

On Christmas day itself, I met up with old girlfriends whom I thought would still be mad at me for being so MIA for the past 3 years. To my surprise, they took my apology really well and gosh, how I love them! Seriously, I have never laughed so much (and loudly) for so long. It was really awesome to see them once again. :) Furthermore, a fall-out with one member of the group and after the brunch date, meeting up with that member made me realize how powerful and disastrous ambition can be to the mind. It may just lead one to throw away friendships lasting a decade, claiming that they will stain their path to success. I felt really sad when I realized that under all that ambiguity she was portraying in her sentences, the previous sentence was what she really meant. Friends, no matter how simple-minded they are, have their own self-worth and one has no right to demean that. I have never felt that way towards them and I hope I never will as they are too special to me.

Love is in the air this Christmas. Especially for my bestie. I am extremely happy for her as whenever she speaks of that special someone in her life, her smile is so radiant that she looks like a blushing bride even with a healing scar on her neck after an operation.

What about me, you ask? Well, I do wish I have that special someone whom I know I can spend the rest of my life with but special people are around me now whom I care about and I know they care about me too. I cannot ask for more and instead just pray for their happiness always. :)

Pampering the windows of my soul

On this rainy night, I felt like indulging myself with pretty things so as to keep the blues away.

1. Pretty vintage swimsuit

2. Pretty rompers/sneakers/sandals combination

 

Zara lookbook march/april 2010

 3. Pretty and cute dresses/outfits

Knock-off from Miu Miu

4. Pretty wallpaper

5. Pretty haute couture

6. Pretty cleopatra-inspired outfits

 

Chanel Pre-Fall Collection 2010, paris byzance

Chanel Pre-Fall Collection 2010, paris byzance

7. Pretty and quirky interior designs

Dream kitchen!

Awesome mirror and wall candles!

Dining table plus chalkboard walls!

8. Pretty bike sets

9. DIY Craftworks

Paper-stitched cards

Alchemy book-ends

Custom-made packaging for bread shops

Magnetic chalkboard mirror

10. Friends

A Sparkly Strawberry Christmas!

Finally, I feel at ease. Creating something from scratch and trying to make it perfect with sprinkles of colours and choco bears so as to cheer my bestie, Erika, up when she is feeling under the weather made me realize how much I missed baking. Previously, I have always baked for (ex) boyfriends. It is after all, an act of normality for girlfriends to show off their superior baking skills to their boyfriends (and threaten to leave him if he thinks otherwise). In the end, it is sad fact that girls always aim to please to eventually get back-stabbed in the end.

So I have decided that enough of that. All these while I have been thinking of only myself and pushing away people who really cares about me. Of old friends re-connected and new friends to be made, my heart tingles with anticipation. Thanks love, for sticking it with me through this.